In 1969, researcher Elizabeth Kübler-Ross published a book entitled “Death and Dying” in which she outlined what is commonly called the five stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. While her observations were likely very accurate, it is important to know that she was not a Biblical counselor. Secularists are often very good at describing the problems we face, but they are terrible at finding solutions because they do not seek them from God and His word.
The Bible is filled with instructions and examples about how we experience grief and both the right and wrong ways to respond to loss. When we compare what Kübler-Ross found in her research to the Bible, we see that her five stages of grief are descriptive of five common temptations we experience when grieving. Furthermore, we learn that there is a better way to respond than to give in to those temptations. (1 Corinthians 10:31)
It is possible to grieve in a godly way. (Job 1:21) For every temptation we face in grief, there is a Biblical response. Instead of denial, we must trust in the sovereignty of God. Rather than indulging fleshly anger, we can express godly sorrow. Instead of bargaining, we should live in true surrender. In the place of depression, God gives us hope in the Savior. And instead of hopeless acceptance, we can be fully satisfied because God is enough. We can and should grieve, but we must grieve in a godly way because it is best for us, and it honors the Lord.